indesolution | (no subject)

I have one teeny tiny, itsy bitsy request for the citizens of Babylon as a whole:

COULD WE STOP WITH THE USELESS FIGHTING? As much I as I absolutely l-o-v-e love love LOVE trauma patients and all of their pissed off, antagonistic bitterness, and their broken bones and bruised ribs and black eyes and missing teeth, and their complete inability to COME TO PHYSICAL THERAPY WHEN I TELL THEM TO, I am really, reeeeheheheheeeeeeeeeeally sick of dealing with injuries that could have been prevented by someone simply saying to themselves, GEE, YOU KNOW, MAYBE TODAY ISN'T SUCH A GOOD DAY TO TRY TO ASSERT MY SUPERIORITY! Not that I have anything against asserting superiority — see also: I'm a doctor — but when it keeps landing you in the hospital, you'd think that maybe you'd realize that you should give it a rest.

Elle, you're due in for a check on that brand spankin' new eye of yours next week. Cordelia Chase, letting us know your progress on that whole walking thing would be really just peachy keen. Everyone hurt in the brawl, YOU'RE WELCOME.

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Can I keep the crutches?

In case you piss off another crazed pirate, I think that's a generally good idea.

Yeah, who knows what's in the future!

I can assure you if there's no supervised battles that the injuries and fatalities from the pent-up aggression of the occupants of this dome will be far worse. Call it a hunch.

Whose bright idea was it to lock up a bunch of superpowered, egomaniac hotheads under one dome anyway?

The government's, of course. We're here to breed.

A little ironic that they put us here to repopulate when we're clearly going the route of inevitable apocalyptic destruction instead. Then again, government involvement always screws everything up in a royal way, so I don't know why I'm surprised. Oh wait! I'm not! I look forward to the next wave of whiny trauma kids with a taste for blood.

Gee golly, I don't know.

You are one for dramatics, aren't you? I think our Apocalypse is already over.

Thank you for patching us up, Doctor Cox!!

IT'S NEVER OVER.

Annoyingly perky kids with eyepatches are becoming my specialty. I should go into private practice for it. You're welcome.

I suppose the word is flexible.

Call it my own hunch, but I saw Resident Evil.

Are you basing your theories off of Resident Evil? I was basing mine off of Soylent Green.

How do I put this politely. Let me think. Ah yes.

UH, EW.

There are many versions of Apocalypse, I suppose.

Apropos, do you happen to know if they're hiring at the hospital?

(And I do realize that a better time to ask would have been before the fight.)

Oh, Jesus Christ, nerd fodder.

I've been demoted to resident status since my last job, so I can honestly say I've got no idea there, Scully. You should come in and check, I'm sure they'd just love to have you.

I'll thank you not to refer to me as "nerd fodder," Doctor Cox. Ever. Again.

Thank you.

Oh, you're right. I'm ever so sorry. I take it back and will have a complete change of heart, because no one's ever told me that before! Wrong. Try again. I calls 'em like I sees 'em. X-Files? Nerd show. And therefore, you? Are nerd fodder. Though the sexual tension with Mulder was just A+, but if you ask me, it went on for eight years too long. Here's a plot for you! They find aliens, then they get married and live happily ever after. End of the series.

Still want to work at the hospital?

That being the case, I'm sure you never actually watched my show. Someone who had would know that I'm not intimidated by that sort of display.

This conversation is over.

I may stop by tomorrow to drop off a résumé.

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