indesolution | (no subject)

[ Filter: Spitfire ]

i'll have something new to show you by new year's. maybe even the day before. it won't be much, but it's something.

and simca's upset still. i'd apologize to her, but she doesn't seem like the type to take apologies, and i don't feel that sorry for it. it was bad, but she should know that we all have to do these things for at.

i normally would feel sorry, but she makes it hard. i don't want to be her enemy, but ignoring her doesn't seem like a good idea. not when she's close to you like ikki is to me.

[ Filter: Private ]

simca left that comment the other day and i never replied to it. i keep thinking about it. i'd ask ikki, but he wouldn't know what to say and would probably make me lick his shoe and then give him mine again while calling them ugly. they're not the best, but they'll do. why am i defending my shoes? the bastard can't even read this.

but the point is that simca left the comment. if i go to the ball, spitfire might want me to sit with him, and it might not work so well if simca's there as his date. she says the parts won't last and they won't keep being there for me to take. that doesn't even make any sense. at parts wear down really fast so she'd have to keep making them no matter what. they might not be right for the flames, but i have the regalia. i'm just not using them. that might be a problem when i start using them. i'll need a tuner, but this isn't the time to worry about that.

heh, i feel like i'm rationalizing this. i need the parts. i had to do what i had to do, and what i did was awful, but it's for the road. if i hadn't, the road wouldn't go anywhere. i wonder if that's what she wants. like i'm not good enough for it and i'll never be. this is my way of proving myself. i'll talk to spitfire about it and see.

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Well, Simca won't ever quite forgive you and I can't say I blame her. But I wouldn't reccommend ignoring her.

what do you think i should do?

Hmm.. I have rather limited experience in disobeying Simca's wishes.

heh, then that's a bit of a problem. i don't know how to not disobey them, since everything i do is wrong.

I have to say, Kazu-kun. Even though you have no obligation to our migratory bird, you're still very concerned with making this situation right by her.

that was really obvious.

she's important to ikki and to you. she doesn't seem like she'll ever have faith in me, and i don't care about that because she's not the one who matters. but it's just going to get worse if i can't sit with you at the ball or come by because she's over or if we're at work.

i don't have any obligation to her or genesis. they were always our enemies, and we weren't supposed to side with her. but things can't continue like this. i can't prove myself to you or ikki if i don't have the parts. i can't keep stealing them, even if i would.

You're worried about what she said.

yeah.

You shouldn't ignore her. But I don't want those kinds of comments to reach you.

what if it just keeps continuing as an argument?

Even if the Flame Road takes me away from her, I'd still follow it. It's regrettable, but what would you have me do?

oh.

I can see how you would think badly of me for saying that.

i wouldn't go after my road over ikki.

Then already you are a better man than me. So I'm happy you see your role that way. But it wouldn't be the first time I've sacrificed myself for you and the road, don't you think?

it's different when you say you want to ignite the flame in another and then put it that way, but fighting sora is a little different than your best friend.

Has it become that serious?

has what?

The situation between you and Simca.

tch, i hope not. i don't think she's out to kill me.

... right?

If she had wanted to kill you, I would not have wasted both our time by going after you myself.

just making sure.

I'll speak to her. After Christmas, of course.

Oh and Kazu-kun? Whatever it is you have to show me- I look forward to seeing it.

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