indesolution | (no subject)

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This...is weird. I mean, I guess being able to wake the dead with my finger means I pretty much redefine "weird," but even by my standards...weird. Apparently I am fictional. I don't feel fictional.

I was thinking of having a sort of...pie social (or maybe pie-with-ice cream social) so I can meet the rest of the people here. I wonder what kinds of pie I should make.

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You can do what?

I can touch dead people and...dead things and bring them back to life. It's strange.

I'm a grim reaper. It doesn't seem to apply here, but I used to take the soul of a person before they were about to die.

Let's talk about strange.

I'm not sure how the...soul thing works. I pretty much just bake pies and wake the dead. I lead a very sheltered life. What does a soul look like? I don't want to accidentally bump into one and some how bring it back to life or something.

It looks like the person. Non-corporeal. So I don't think your special brand of strange would be able to bring them back. What concerns me is that the dead aren't supposed to wake up, kid. You must have lived in a very fucked up world.

You bake pies, though, so you can't be all that bad. I'm Rube.

I did. But if it helps, I used it to solve murders, and I only brought them back for sixty seconds. Except for once, but...well, except for once.

I'm Ned. Nice to meet you. If you tell me your favorite flavor, I will make you a pie. They're quite tasty, I promise.

That's mighty noble, kid. Why only sixty seconds?

Key lime. But I like all pies. You're a good man, Ned.

If I don't touch someone again after sixty seconds, someone else has to die in their place. It's a random proximity thing. I guess it's to balance out the cosmic whatever-you-call-it, but I'm not sure. My finger didn't exactly come with an operating manual, you know? Heh.

As soon as I get settled in, I will make you a delicious key lime pie. The fruit will be very, very fresh thanks to...well, you know.

Intriguing. You did it once? Why did you do it? I apologize for asking questions, Ned, but it's rare to find someone with semi-similar life experiences here in Babylon.

I work at Der Wafflehousen, if you'd like a free breakfast in repayment.

Blueberry!

It was...it was my mother. I was only nine and I didn't know about the rules of it all yet, so I just touched her like I had my dog before, and sure enough, she came back. Sixty seconds came and went and...well, someone else died in her place. It wasn't a very good experience, to be honest. I try to avoid love now so that I never do that again. Friends are okay, but anything deeper and...I just don't want to risk it.

Oh, I would never make you "pay me back." But I might visit there one day to have some breakfast. It's hard to eat foods I've prepared myself since when I touch them a second time they go back to being dead and...well, that's just not pleasant.

You're dressed up rather spiffy today.

Understandable.

I bet we could swap stories all day, kid.

I don't feel fictional either.

Probably. It's nice to have someone who understands about all this. Most people don't really understand the...curse of it at times. If you get what I'm saying.

I read a theory once about how when fictional things have a real influence on our lives, that makes them real, but maybe the theory was fictional, too.

Undead since 1926. I get the curse.

Wow. And I thought I had it bad. But does it ever annoy you to be "un"something? Why start things off with a negative?

Oh, dear. I suppose it's best to go with the term you prefer, though, so if "undead" is what you prefer, then "undead" it is.

Well, there's really no other way to define it. I don't like explaining these things, but I like you, Ned. So this is how it worked in my world.

Grim reapers have a quota of souls. No one knows what that quota is. I was a higher-up in the reaping world and I still didn't know anyone's quota, even my own. But when they pop their last soul, that person takes the reaper's place. We don't have our souls, therefore we don't age and can't be killed, but we are corporeal. So, there's that. Undead is the only term that really fits.

Wow. That's definitely more of a curse than the finger thing. At least I can just...you know, not touch anyone. No wonder you don't like talking about it.

Only one person and my dog knew about what I could do back home. It was such a pain to hide it, though. Like once, I jumped into a pile of leaves with a friend, and they came back to life. That was really awkward to explain. But a lot of people here seem to be...well, not "normal," so hopefully I won't stick out as much.

It's still kind of creepy, though, touching dead bodies. Especially if they've been dead for awhile. Eesh.

Yes. It's quite the curse. Outliving everyone you love while they think you're dead is no pie in the sky.

You and I are quite normal in comparison to most of the characters here. You'll get used to it. Actually, you'll probably be useful here. Moreso than most folks, anyhow.

Oh dear. Any world where I'm normal seems...well, strange doesn't quite cover it. But I suppose I will adapt.

I hope I can be useful. They said something about...um...breeding, which I'd prefer not to do if I don't have to (it's a touching people thing...you know?), but I'd love to be able to supply people with pie and other foods. My touch make the fruit so fresh that it's literally still alive as people eat it.

Which I guess is one of the better aspects of having this...ability.

Clearly you haven't had much contact with the strange folk in this world, then. Watch out for talking cats.

You're in luck. We mostly just ignore the breeding clause. No one much wants children overrunning the domes.

Color me excited for the pies, then.

Technically speaking, you were fictional. You aren't any longer.

It's a crock that we were fictional. I've skipped dimensions before, I think that's all their machine does. Rip holes in dimensions and sucks people through.

...Although you did just say pie which I will very cheerfully support.

I once was fictionalized, but now I am unfictionalized? What a mouthful!

There are...there are dimensions? And you've gone through them? Oh my. I may need to sit down for this conversation. Are the other dimensions parallel to ours? Or are they completely different? Like...is there a dimension out there where everything in the world is made of shrimp?

Well, I've just been to one, because it's not supposed to be that easy to get from one place to the next, any more. And it's sort of like.. there could be billions of possibilities, ranging from, something that could be as tiny as different choices made in your life to... I guess, shrimp people. Not that I've ever seen that. In humans, I mean.

I think I'd like to visit a dimension where I made a different choice. Of course, with my luck...well, it wouldn't do any better.

You never told me what kind of pie you'd like. One time offer I'm giving out a free pie to each new person I meet.

Sometimes it's better not knowing what could've happened, and just being happy with the choices you've made.

Oh um. Strawberry? Or apple. Ohhh my mate Mickey's Gran made the best apple pie. I'd be happy with anything, really.

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