indesolution | (no subject)

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xander harris

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So I know my life is weird. Living in Sunnydale will do that to a person.

But when I get pulled from one freshly adverted apocalypse to a post apocalyptic world and the first thing one of the creepy guys in white coats does after he asked me my name was smile and tell me that they've been expecting me, I get a little freaked out. Very much of the weird.

Someone get with the explaining please. Preferably someone whose name either starts with Buf- or Wil- and ending in -fy or -low.

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Xander!! Wowww. Um, my name doesn't start with those, can I still be all splainy?

...Andrew? Umm...you were just...Ya know, I don't...

Go ahead.

This apocalypse totally had nothing to do with us. Aside from us being, you know, here now.

Really.

That...is oddly surprising. But then I'm glad because then I don't think we failed somehow and that's not such a very good thought when I'm already on the verge of panic.

So what's the deal Buf? Guys in the white coats gave me the basics but then I haven't trusted guys in white coats since you were a freshman in college.

Okay firstly the space-time continuity is more than a little Moorcocked so uh don't panic if people remember stuff you don't. Secondly Anya's here! She talks about you a lot so she's probably going to be pretty happy to see you. Finally we were all part of a tv show about Buffy, but they have pamphlets to talk about that.

Far as the general consensus goes, we're in an alternate dimension. They said we're from fiction, but I think that's crap and so does pretty much everyone else here.

Either way, they brought us here because they want us to repopulate the human race. Which they probably told you, but I personally think it's the highlight of their whole welcome kit.

Alternate dimension...didn't we do that already?

Yeah they got to the repopulation part. I kiddingly said I couldn't even get the marriage part right so don't expect kiddies from me and I don't think they thought it was very funny...

Pamphlets. About us being a TV show about...

Wait, did you say Anya was here?

"So It Turns Out You're Fictional", stuff like that.

Yeah! And she's not even a zombie, vampire, or other form of evil undead.

She's here. Anya's alive.

Alright, so tell me about this TV Show. Because I imagine your version is going to be much better then any pamphlet.

Yup. Our universe has gotta look like swiss cheese by now.

I think the only thing they actually take seriously here is the whole breeding thing. And even that sometimes I think they're all sitting around in their white coats giggling manically at us.

It's called "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," which totally isn't as cool as Buffy, Slayer of; the Vampyrs but what can you do. It follows Buffy's exciting and tension-filled life as she and her friends battle with the horrors of Sunnydale's very own Hellmouth and the perils of everyday life. From what I can work out it went from school through to Apocalypse, with plenty of humour and dashings of ~romance~. Speaking of, Angel's here too. And Warren and Jonathan and Cordelia and Faith.

Now that's an image for the Watcher's Diaries right there

They certainly stressed the point. One guy even asked if the eye was because of a birth defect or genetic thing. I said it was horrible pogo accident but now I'm beginning to wonder if I should have said yes.

...

They made a TV show about our life.

That's probably the creepiest thing I have ever heard and I lived that whole damn thing.

Well, well, well...ain't this just a nerds reunion.

oh my god everyone is turning up. um. hi Xander. you probably don't remember me but um, Jonathan.

You went to high school with us. With only so many people surviving graduation, I remember that...

Then of course you and your friends tried to kill my best friend and did kill my other best friend's girlfriend and caused her to almost destroy the world.

Yeah I'd say I remember you.

well. um. when you put it that way.

we're good now? um, 2/3 of us dying and 1/3 going all shiny redeemed etc. but um, not evil or trying to kill people now.

Something like that, yeah.

I hope thats a constant trend. Because then I'd say we'd get along just fine.

well um! that's good! you're seriously like the third person to get here in two weeks, and um Andrew already told you about our show so. um. good times.

No one the white coated guy said he was expecting me. Yeah Andrew mentioned who was here, quite a crowd. Is it like this from every TV Show?

pretty much um. there's Dr. Who and um, Power Rangers and X-Men and Evangelion and. stuff.

Huh. For once an interesting alternative dimension.

Of course it would be better without the dying world and everything but ya know, with our luck, it just wouldn't be right. Apocalypses make everything better. Like normal people and flowers.

yeah um I'm kind of glad I didn't get to stick around to see that.

XANDER

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