indesolution | (no subject)

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george lass

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You know, after the shit I went through when I became a grim reaper, being told that you were just a character on television and never really existed in the first place... well, it really wasn't all that fucking surprising. At least, it wasn't for me.

(But I never really existed in the first place if you wanna look at it that way.)

The more annoying part is that I'm pretty much out of a job, unless somebody here has post-it duty, which I doubt, because even then, who would even give the lists to the guy on post-it duty? There's no Jiffy Reap here in Babylon, am I right? Hell, I'm pretty sure there aren't even gravelings here, since I have yet to see somebody get crushed by a piano. No gravelings means no deaths, which means no souls to take, which means no post-its, which means I'm gonna be fucking bored.

(Would they even use post-its here? I bet Google would run their Jiffy Reap via e-mail. Hey, that would give me a bigger excuse to use Excel, and maybe Rube wouldn't be an ass about it. I mean, if Rube were here, he wouldn't be an ass about it. I kinda like this idea. Why is there no fucking reaping here?

Wait, that's right, all of that shit was imaginary. Jesus Christ.)

The food here tastes like ass. I'm not even kidding. My kingdom for the Der fucking Waffle Haus.

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... Wow.

I think I've seen a pancake house somewhere around here, though. They probably have waffles too.

That's the place I mean. I had their oatmeal and, well, it was bad choice on my part. Maybe it's just that restaurant, but come on, there should at least be a better fucking version of it somewhere.

Oatmeal is always sort of bad choice. But I don't eat out for breakfast, so I wouldn't know where to tell you to go for waffles.

You're out of luck, peanut. I'm here, I'm still using post-its, and I'm still being an ass about it.

Hello, Georgia.

Holy shit! Rube?!

I figured you wouldn't. Uh, thanks anyway.

Don't call me "Georgia".

Holy shit! Yes.

I will always call you Georgia.

When the fuck did you get here?

Month ago or so. We're shit out of luck for reaping and waffles here. I started a club to alleviate some of the monotony.

Yeah, I noticed. I'd better not get stuck doing something like Happy Time again, I didn't know how much longer I could hold out with the AA meeting excuse.

There's no one else here besides you, is there? Mason? Daisy? Roxy? Kiffany, maybe? I almost would even do with Dolores.

-- actually, no, I wouldn't. I take that back. I hope I didn't jinx it or something.

You don't seem like the club type, Rube. Do I want to guess what it's all about, or am I being forced to attend now that I'm here, regardless of whether I'm interested or not?

Hmm, why does that situation sound familiar?

Does this mean I can't be your sponsor anymore?

No. No one. I'm surprised you're even here, I was beginning to give up. Fingers crossed for Kiffany, the waitresses here just don't cut it. Could do without Mason. There's enough fuck ups here. Bigger fuck ups, even. Make him look like a fucking Mensa saint.

Go ahead and guess, shouldn't be that hard. You'll be in attendance if you know what's good for you.

Unless I get to use the excuse to get out of this club you've just made, nope, your role is over.

Mason is... kind of an acquired taste. His heart's in the right place! Or, so Kiffany said once. I don't know, he tries hard, and I think he'd be all right if we kept him off of the drugs and booze long enough.

Also, "fuck-up" is a hyphenate.

What, are there other reapers here besides us? That are from other imaginary places?

Is he really. I spent a lot longer with the fuck up than you did, peanut, and my taste buds never quite matured.

Fuck your hyphenates, Georgia.

No, but something like it. Folks who should be dead. It's something like a support group - less with the hugging, though, and hopefully none of the crying. And don't think about the imaginary thing too hard. I don't.

I guess there are some things you never grow up to like. I'm just saying, Mason tries.

Well, it was bothering me! I can't help it, it's kind of a reflex for me to correct other people's grammar and spelling mistakes.

That... actually doesn't sound bad. I was expecting something more boring. Count me in, but I bet you'd make me go no matter what I think, so that's just for the record.

I'm not thinking about it too hard. I just think the whole idea of teleporting fictional people here is a little ridiculous. Don't you?

Oh, how I missed your insight and wisdom. Smartass.

You would bet right. It's at the fucking pathetic excuse for a waffle house, by the way. Trying to keep tradition alive, bullshit like that.

Of course I do. You should see some of the ridiculous characters here. Grim reapers are normal in comparison.

Oh, I'm sure you did miss me, big time.

We don't have to order anything while we're there, do we?

I think I've seen enough already, actually. Do you have a retarded roommate, too, or did I just get the lucky dice roll?

Joking aside, humor the old man for a minute. I did.

The fucking inanity of some of the folks in attendance may make you want to eat, trust me.

Pandora is a peachy roommate, actually. Surprisingly sane. Wait, who's yours?

Well, now you can return to rolling your eyes at my amazing wit, just like before. Look at the bright side, at least I'm not Mason or Daisy.

At least I know not to get the oatmeal.

Seriously? I got fucking gypped, then! I swear to God, he literally only has half of a brain. He's like a retarded ten-year-old whose birth mother drank six too many martinis when she was carrying, know what I mean?

Yes. Just like old times. Seems like yesterday for you, seems like years for me. Hell, I was getting to the point where I wouldn't mind hearing a tale of starfucking or a drug-addled rant where every other word is fucking wanker sod.

That bad? I'm considering being a chef there. Making it less horrific.

Ah. I think I know who you're speaking of. There's not much to do but read these things.

I was going to say, I saw you only a few hours ago. I'm sure being warped here fucks with the time in our world.

You should do it, because then all of us have a chance to escape food poisoning.

It really does, and it's bizarre as shit.

The place is pretty deserted most of the time, to be fair. You need to find a job, too.

What, are you saying I should be a waitress or something?

You? A waitress?

Fuck you, I wouldn't be that bad.

Anyway, as long as it's not as boring as Happy Time, I don't care. Anything to distract me from this stupid network shit and my roommate.

I'm still laughing at the thought, my apologies.

I liked Dolores, myself. But I don't think there are temp jobs here. Lucky you.

Asshole.

Yeah, you liked her because you didn't have to grin, call yourself "Millie Hagen", not take promotions, try very hard not to swear, and constantly lie about where the hell you were running off to yet again. She's a good person. I guess Millie likes her. George thinks she's full of shit.

Maybe I'll get some lame-ass retail job like kids my age are supposed to.

The stories I could tell you about my oddjobs, Georgia. You don't have to do the double life anymore, at least.

Sounds thrilling. Try something that won't rot your brain more than normal dome life already will.

Oh, there's a ball, by the by.

Yeah, at least there's that. Millie was boring, anyway.

I'd work at a bookstore. There has to be one around here.

A ball? Am I back in fucking high school?

Haven't seen a decent one yet, but it's worth a look.

With the way folks are acting about it, yes, we're all back in fucking high school. Would you want to go?

I've never been one for the fancy dress and dancing shit. Well, dress I can deal with. Dancing, no thanks.

Are you going? Or is that a stupid question, Georgia, of course you're not?

Why am I not surprised.

I've actually been looking to go. Surprise, surprise.

Seriously? What are you going to do, stand in the corner and look pissed off?

Most likely.

I've befriended a politician, it's made me want to be social with the people of the domes and bullshit like that. Dancing isn't so bad either. But mostly the looking pissed off.

If you change your mind.

Somehow, that doesn't surprise me. You being friends with a politician, I mean.

I don't think so. I like to avoid awkward social situations.

He's a good man. You probably wouldn't like him.

I'll ask my roommate.

Careful, the witch will recruit you for her matchmaking service. Women aren't as plentiful here.

I don't like most men either way, you know.

Matchmaking service? Jesus Christ.

I count myself among the fortunate.

Jesus fucking Christ, actually. I feel the same. And wait until the trio of annoyances appears, you'll just love them.

Only you and Mason make that list.

Trio of annoyances? Should I even ask?

An interesting pair.

Don't worry, they'll crop up somewhere, whether you want them to or not. You'll meet two of them tomorrow. They'll probably fight like little girls and I'll throw them out.

And then there's the fucking anime kids.

Sounds like fun. Really.

What the fuck is an anime?

I didn't know until I came here. Cartoons or some bullshit. They're annoying as hell. Disrespectful. Hellions.

You might like them, actually.

Bet you I won't.

Right, still Georgia.

Yep, never changing.

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