indesolution | (no subject)

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anya jenkins

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I wish I were back in Sunnydale!

Well, that didn't work. Hello, fellow citizens of this lovely and not at all oppressive human incubator, I am pleased to make your acquaintance! I hope you are all enjoying your procreating!

I don't suppose anyone could point me in the direction of Xander Harris. He's a handsome one-eyed lad whose physique has reaped the benefits of a career in construction without the obnoxious cat-calling to accompany it. I'm sure you've seen him around.

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HOLY CATS ANYA? ANDREW IS GOING TO BE SO HAPPY

Oh my God.

also um hi you probably don't remember me, um I'm Jonathan!

There's no one named Xander Harris here, I'm sorry.

Oh, Buffy. You're here!

Don't be silly, you're Andrew's friend who he stabbed! And who died! How confusing! Hello.

I. um. yeah, that's me but we got over that and

um it's good that you're here!

Yeah and so...are you!

Xander isn't here, though.

Oh.

But can you be sure. Have you checked all the, the construction sites and comic book stores?

That's what the small animated man below said. I wasn't sure whether he was a reliable source.

It can't be too long before he gets here, though, right? What about the rest of the gang? Giles?

Boy I hope so. It'd be nice to have someone sane around.

And it's just Dawn, Faith, Andrew, and me. Also Jonathan, and Warren. Oh and Cordelia.

My last check was about two hours ago. I suppose there's a chance that he's arrived since then. The likelihood is about 0.004%.

How did you arrive at this calculation?

The number of people on average that they pull within the span of two hours or so, factoring in an estimate of how many fictional people there are to choose from, adding the tendency that the government tends to have of pulling people from similar series in waves. It's all statistics. I wouldn't want to bore you.

And no one has been shot, stabbed or wished into a hellish alternate dimension yet? Though this may qualify as the latter. I can't decide which is worse, a world where the poisonous atmosphere could mutate our cells beyond repair at any moment, resulting in unattractive and pain-ridden deaths for all, or the one that was about to be overrun by ultimate evil. Oh, how did that go, by the way? Did we live, only to then be destroyed by the darkness we unleashed in our own midst? I'm referring here to Willow, of course.

Okay, wow.

Oh, no, I love math! I mean, for a while there it was difficult because I hadn't used anything but the abacus for like a thousand years, but then I learned calculus, and practically had to change my panties every time I thought about differential equations. The blush of new love has faded a bit, yes, but math and I have grown quite comfortable with each other.

Andrew! Yes, bask in my shockingly adorable presence.

Basking! Or at least, your presence via the glow of a laptop screen. I mean, Anya! kjhfsakjhgsa This is sort of amazingly great.

I don't understand the purpose of your seemingly random series of consonants and vowels, mister. Is it a code? You know, when I was still a demon I once made myself sick eating Cracker Jacks but the secret decoder ring I got in the mail was such a disappointment.

It's more sort of me hitting the keys in excitement slash speechlessness, Jonathan does it a lot.

Oh, so it's a thing that the socially underdeveloped do? xmcvbewaoiwuebv? Like so?

Hey, who are you calling socially underdeveloped? My silver halide crystals are practically overexposed, okay. I've had my alkaline bath of redemption and now I'm all ready to be shown.

I just call 'em like I see 'em, and you are a thousand words worth of dork.

So did you die?

Surprisingly no? I'm actually in the hospital after my fifth? sixth? near-death experience, I'm kinda losing count. Xander was okay the last time I saw him, too, doing his Colonel Fury thing, but that was a while ago and not uh. Here.

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