(no subject)

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

I wish I were back in Sunnydale!



Well, that didn't work. Hello, fellow citizens of this lovely and not at all oppressive human incubator, I am pleased to make your acquaintance! I hope you are all enjoying your procreating!

I don't suppose anyone could point me in the direction of Xander Harris. He's a handsome one-eyed lad whose physique has reaped the benefits of a career in construction without the obnoxious cat-calling to accompany it. I'm sure you've seen him around.

Comments

[ex_wells219]

Surprisingly no? I'm actually in the hospital after my fifth? sixth? near-death experience, I'm kinda losing count. Xander was okay the last time I saw him, too, doing his Colonel Fury thing, but that was a while ago and not uh. Here.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Xander is angry and a ranking officer in the military? I don't understand. What about me? How was I the last time you saw me?

By the way, if you need someone to visit and mock your pain in a feeble attempt to distract you from it, I could do that!

[ex_wells219]

I kind of already have someone to do that, but come visit anyway. 'Cause you know, hospitals, and us. It'll be all nostalgic. We could find wheelchairs.

And Xander isn't actually in the military, though he has a pretty sweet centcom set up. Nick Fury's just this character with an eyepatch... As for you. Um, what do you remember? Because I don't. I mean I didn't actually see. But I bet it was really heroic!

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

 
 
Oh. Oh. Did I die? But, but I had righteous bunny wrath on my side!

[ex_wells219]

I know, everyone was very surprised. There's um, a support group. Every Wednesday at Der Waffle Haus. You'd be in good company! Or, relatively good. Maybe, uh "good", you have to imagine me doing bunnyfingers here.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

It's strange how upset I feel even though I am clearly not dead at present!

[ex_wells219]

I think that's pretty normal. I cried a little when I saw your post. And at least you turned up in one piece!

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Magnetic poetry makes you cry, Andrew. But. Thank you.

Oh my god, have people showed up in pieces?

[ex_wells219]

Sometimes people come through wounded a bit, though I don't think there's been any little piles of body parts ala Resident Evil floating on through (the movie, not the game, because we do actually have the Redfields here which will be useful in case of impending viral zombie attack.) I don't know how their machine works, it's pretty random, but they haven't seemed to have pulled through anything inanimate or braindead. Though you never know, because now that I think about it they probably wouldn't give those an apartment or a computer or anything? And I'm going to stop talking about pieces of people now.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

I think you actually stopped talking about information relevant to my question after the first nineteen words, you spaz attack.

Are they only bringing humans through, or are there members of the demon community here as well?

[ex_wells219]

That is to say, quotationmarkfingers.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Yes, thank you, because this moment was not traumatising enough.

[ex_wells219]

Sorry.

[magicbone]

yeah um you can come to the meetings with us. me. but um all of us. yes.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Maybe. I don't know. I'll wait to see if these feelings of loneliness and abandonment go away on their own. Are you asking me on a date?

[magicbone]

okay um good luck with that. also ghsfkjsfkjs no. I mean um, not that you're





but no um that's not what I meant.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Oh, good. Not that you aren't reasonably attractive for a tiny, stuttering man, but as both Salt and Pepa have elucidated, I got a man. Or, I did, before I died. I've still got a torch, anyway.

[magicbone]

thank you?


yeah. I'm sorry Xander isn't here.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

He will be!

[postits]

Hello, miss. Rube Sofer. As the legion has already mentioned, Wednesdays at half-noon at Der Wafflehausen. You are very welcome to join us.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Did you die too?

[postits]

A long time ago, madam. 1926, to be exact. Became a grim reaper, have a bit of expertise about the fragile nature of the subject. I figured I should put it to use here, help folks, have a meeting place, etc. The food's not bad, either.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

A grim reaper! I have to admit this is a first for me. I mean, sure, there were plenty of demons who went around claiming to "Be Death," but that was usually just insecurity talking. That or attempting to get in my pants.

[postits]

I don't claim to be Death, just do his dirty work. I'm sure you've heard quite a lot.

Demons?

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Done a lot, actually. See, due to certain circumstances involving an ex I became a vengeance demon and granted the wishes of betrayed women in a very literal fashion on their unfaithful men. But then my power centre was destroyed and I became a human with all of the fluids coming out of various orifices that that entails. Not that I minded all of the fluids, which is why I fell in love and blah blah, got left at the altar, and briefly resumed the demony lifestyle until I realised that as far as fluids go there was a whole lot more blood on the nonhuman side of things than I remembered. So here I am, human once more!