[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
I've gotta say I would've hoped for something a little less Romero and a little more Stacy: Attack of the Schoolgirl Zombies.

wa'maH

May. 28th, 2008 05:42 pm
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
So here's the deal, I know robots. It's what I do. I don't mean the kind that vacuum under your couch for you either, we are talking humanoid AI. And I think it's been pretty well established that you never know what wacky hijinks Babylon's got in store or more importantly when it's going to involve being torn limb from limb, whether those be made of bone or metal or some combination of the two. The meatbags already have the hospital and Cox to take care of them but I've been thinking I could be of some help to the more mechanically structured.

You may be thinking this is all fine and good and you'll just come around if the need arises but keep in mind that it'll be harder to figure out how you were put together if the original parts have been crushed into unrecognizability. I'd probably figure it out eventually but things could get a little experimental and it would take longer. You'd probably be better off seeing me before that happens so I can get some blueprints drawn up and figure out the parts I'd need or even just how I'd go about repairing the ones you've already got.

Hut

May. 9th, 2008 08:10 pm
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
Just a little PSA, Babylon's services will no longer be needed in the picking/breaking down of my door and also thank you to the lack of volunteers, you probably avoided an ax through the neck, don't mind Andrew I'll remember to mix his medication into his food tonight. See what happens when you forget things kids?
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
You don't need to come over tomorrow.

chorgh

May. 6th, 2008 07:17 am
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
Yeah so this past week or so made me feel real introspective about how the government is interfering in our lives and I know I feel like the autonomy of my person has been violated, but then a new week shone brightly upon me and I can really only get down on my knees and thank any invisible benevolent overlord on hand for the ways of the Japanese. And they say fanservice is dead.
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
[ Filter: Cordelia ]

See I had this theory that if I made it hard enough for you you'd decide he wasn't worth the effort. I still don't know what your motives were but it's kinda nice to be vindicated once in a while you know? So now we share our own little secret huh, that you really haven't changed at all.

Don't worry, it's safe with me.
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
Jesus fucking Cthulhu.



[ Filter: Andrew ]

I hope you wanted to see it.

jav

Feb. 28th, 2008 12:36 am
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
Okay this whole "woe I've been sucked into a post-apocalyptic alternate dimension where the scientists claim my life was fictional but now that I'm real I'm expected to breed AND I'M REALLY [insert emotional descriptor here] ABOUT IT" thing is getting kinda old. So I've compiled a handy FAQ for the n00bs so the rest of us don't have to answer the same thing over and over and over ad nauseum.

#1: "I'm not real? But I don't feel fake."

Let's address the misnomer first shall we? Technically, if the white coats are to be believed you are no longer fake, i.e. real, so only everything about your "life" up until now has been one gigantic lie devised by the whims of your creator(s) or let's be honest here, the interfering hands of execs and other suits.

Now that that's out of the way, whether or not you do believe the white coats, fair traveler of the interdimensional portal, is a decision you'll have to come to on your own. If you are like some you may be strongly influenced by how much you want to believe your life before Babylon was real or fake. Those who are more scientifically minded (bonus points for some experience with the weird and mystical) such as myself have simply looked at the evidence for this claim and often found it to be lacking. If it makes you feel better you might want to make some sort of pros and cons list. If you'd rather not make the decision from your heart you ought to consider looking into the Multiverse Theory and similar fields of study — it's not just for science fiction anymore!

#2: "They want me to breed! I find that _____!"

Chances are you're gonna be inclined to fill in the blank with "scandalous" or "kinky." If it's the former ignore it. It won't exactly go away 'cause getting you laid is the government's highest priority and they will take every opportunity to inspire you toward that end. However you can take comfort in the fact that no one is making you do anything yet. [Pending revision in the event that breeding becomes mandatory.]

If it's the latter we all have our wooing methods and how to get the opposite sex into bed has been the driving force of humanity and fiction for like, ever so I'm not gonna get into that here. Just you know, enjoy the freedom to pick your partner while it lasts.

#3: "I miss my mommy! How do I get back?"

Nobody knows and if they do they're not telling. If you really want to find a way back become part of the problem, not their solution. Scientists are more likely to get the chance for an up-close-and-personal with the portal, to learn how it works. There are also political avenues; what better way to find out if a conspiracy theory is true than to become a key figure in said conspiracy?

#4: "But they need me back in my world! I was right in the middle of something really important, and who's going to feed my cat?"

Someday, someone will be pulled through the portal who wasn't in the throes of epic battle and about to die*. Someday, someone will be pulled through the portal who was in the middle of playing Portal, and on that day we can all lol and offer them cake (it's not a lie!). But yeah, chances are that if you're here other people from your series are likely to show up any day, since they seem to pull from similar series in waves. And given the evidence of those who were taken from different points, your absence won't have any effect on the fabric of the reality you came from. You may be filled with the same sense of destiny but you're just gonna have to get a day job for now** 'cause the fact of your presence here? Doesn't rewrite your history. Your cat will live to meow another day. So chill out and get it on.



*For information on coping with this common pre-mortem issue, please refer to Rube Sofer of the I Died in My Canon support group.
**Unless you can will anything you need from raw firmament.
Huh. I wonder if those pamphlet writers get royalties.

vagh

Feb. 6th, 2008 04:08 am
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
Okay children, you don't have to like it but the fact is you need an adult-sized credit card for a lot of that online research material, whereas the proprietors of Rule 42 are not nearly so discriminating. We also accept cash or check.

So here's the deal, show us some student ID today and you get 20% off your purchase of any adult material. Jonathan will probably be hiding in the backroom with his head between his knees but never fear, our trained experts will manage to work within your kinks (or lack thereof) to minimize mental trauma and maximize grade point averages. Come one, come all.
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
[ Filter: Private ]

- Possession. Metal meets propulsion to the head first every time. Is it the shooting, the gun, something else?
- Mimic wannabe. Considered going with Parasite or Rogue here but he may only be able to copy powers.
- Illusions obviously. Will get J to give me more details.
- ???


- Profit.

loS

Jan. 3rd, 2008 02:13 am
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
[ Filter: Sofer ]

I hope you don't think I actually believe you or anything you crazy bastard.

wej

Dec. 27th, 2007 11:41 pm
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
I would say it's the thought that counts but I'm not actually sure what that thought even was. I'm pretty familiar with human anatomy though (plus, no murders) so I think it's safe to say it's not that. Human anatomy I mean.

I'm keeping it in the freezer until such time as any mystical properties may be confirmed or denied. Mia, don't be alarmed and also try not to eat anything you think may be steak. It's not.

cha'

Dec. 6th, 2007 12:42 am
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
Dear Secret Santa,

I am a man of simple yet sophisticated tastes. My preferred cigars are Habanos (don't know if they have them in this world but you can't expect me to do all the work here, come on). Personal massages are an excellent nonmonetary gift (if you're a guy a gift certificate will have to do, sorry about the gender inequality). And I always, always welcome new methods of smiting my enemies. You're a talented bunch, go wild.

Sincerely,
Warren Mears


In other news, I have acquired a weapon of mass destruction. Her name is Tesla and okay, she's pretty much with the licking of faces right now but soon, soon she will be removing them. It's a work in progress, people.

wa'

Nov. 12th, 2007 03:30 am
[identity profile] robotsexual.livejournal.com
I can't believe they made Starbuck into a fucking chick.

Hey is there any way to like petition for which universe they're gonna pull people from next? Because I may have some nominations. A spreadsheet. Actually.

You'd think that pulling people out of random exit points in their respective timelines would create paradoxes within each universe, fictional or not, which if the paradoxes didn't cause the space-time within each to collapse in on itself would at least cause different versions of events to have occurred. Different memories. You know.

But I guess it just says something about how much our stories are threaded into reality if nothing unravels when a thread is pulled. I don't think I'll give up on string theory just yet though.

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