cha'

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

Dear Secret Santa,

I am a man of simple yet sophisticated tastes. My preferred cigars are Habanos (don't know if they have them in this world but you can't expect me to do all the work here, come on). Personal massages are an excellent nonmonetary gift (if you're a guy a gift certificate will have to do, sorry about the gender inequality). And I always, always welcome new methods of smiting my enemies. You're a talented bunch, go wild.

Sincerely,
Warren Mears


In other news, I have acquired a weapon of mass destruction. Her name is Tesla and okay, she's pretty much with the licking of faces right now but soon, soon she will be removing them. It's a work in progress, people.

Comments

[magicbone]

you got a new w



you WHAT

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

The first attack target for which I will train her are people under five feet.

[magicbone]

FIVE FOOT TWO

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

And you have narrowly escaped death yet again. How do you do it?

[magicbone]

oh my god never mind it doesn't even matter, I get it, I'm short but WHAT ARE YOU TRAINING, WARREN

[wells]

...Hellhounds?

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

Don't worry so much dude, I had a coupon. No banks were robbed in the acquisition of this weapon.

[wells]

And it licks faces?

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

For now, Andrew.

For now.

[notwalking]

Wicked.

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

I know right.

[notwalking]

Never mind, wasn't expecting a kitten.

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

IT'S NOT A

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

Excuse me, of the two of us, which one is the supervillain?

[notwalking]

Oh, you are, sir. I'm merely observing.

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

Watch and learn.

[becomingspecial.livejournal.com]

I think I'd like to see the answer to this question.

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah? What's your interest.

[classyslayer.livejournal.com]

Aww, did Warren get a puppy? What breed? Because I'm personally betting on one of those hairless chihuahuas.

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

Then you would lose that wager, but I guess it wouldn't be the first time, would it Slayer?

[classyslayer.livejournal.com]

What can I say, Slayers shouldn't gamble.

Seriously though, what kind of dog?

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

 
 
Doberman. I have a thing for the classics.

[spiritmentor.livejournal.com]

Are you planning on smoking these in the apartment?

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

It doesn't really have the right atmosphere for Habanos and I wouldn't settle for anything less, so.

[spiritmentor.livejournal.com]

Let's hope they stick with those then, and stay clear of the bit where you request that they "smite your enemies."