indesolution | (no subject)

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michael corner

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THERE IS A FANTASTIC PARTY HAPPENING THIS WEEKEND AND I DON'T HAVE A DATE.

You all don't know me, but the name's Michael Anthony Corner. I'm a wizard, like Harry Potter but a lot sexier. I think we should go out this weekend. What do you say? Let's see! Some attributes about me:

1. I'm incredibly good looking.
2. I was a RAVENCLAW, not one of those slimy Slytherins or Hufflepuffs that couldn't hold their own. I'm also not a Gryffindor, so I won't try to bang you on the first date. Promise.
3. I'm INCREDIBLY CHARMING.
4. I'm poor and lonely and CLEARLY I need friends. Don't you want to be friends with me?

THERE'S A WHOLE LOT MORE, TOO. I think my friend Ant needs a date, too, but he's not as good looking as me.

Interested? Leave a comment. You won't be sorry.

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Aren't you the one who was dating Ginny Weasley?

Is that what he's known for? Brilliant.

WELL YOU'RE VERY FIT but I am also known for saving a firstie. Not that I've read the books in my downtime or anything.

I skimmed them but it's pretty private stuff, so I stopped... I did like the one about Professor Lupin though.

Didn't get to the part about the monster then? Is that what Potter calls it when you shag?

I didn't exactly write the books.

It was in your head, Potter. MONSTER. It's called a cock, got it?

Yeah, I get it, Corner.

It most certainly is not, not to mention the fact that that's none of your beeswax.

Thanks, Ginny.

Well the first one was boring because it was just explaining all these things I already knew, and the second wasn't exactly something I wanted to read about, and by the Triwizard Tournament it started getting personal so I stopped. I wouldn't like someone reading about my life in that much detail!

Well, I dunno if that's what the "fandom" is calling him, but that's really the only thing I remember from when I read the books.

Does that mean you're interested?

Are you as corny in person as you're coming off here?

You shouldn't lie on these things, it's cruel to all the poor girls who'll get their hopes up. Well, #2's true, at least, but the rest...

I don't want a date, I think I'll just use my aura of depth and mystery to attract someone at the party.

I'll find you a date mate.

If you must.

SEE THAT RHYME

This is why I was a RAVENCLAW.

I dunno, measure and treasure are two-syllable rhymes, you need to try a little harder than that.

DATE MATE See? Brilliant.

Yeah, you're a genius, Mike. Shakespeare stands in envy.

You must attract all the ladies.

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