indesolution | (no subject)

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axel

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Hey, do babies drink beer? Cause milk will just make it fat. Wait, what about a Zima? Roxas likes that shit and he and this kid are actually kinda the same age. you know, 1.

Good luck, baby. You better start training now if you want to beat the whatsits undefeated record.

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Babies can't have alcohol, Axel!

You're supposed to give them the formula that came with them.

Oh.

I don't know where that went. Does it have to eat right now?

If it's not hungry, then no.

How do you know if it's hungry?

I've just been going with how much mine cries? I mean, if he starts I first check to see if he's upset or his diaper needs to be changed, and if it's neither of those I feed him a little and see how it goes. I'm not exactly and expert at this, though. You might want to ask someone who knows more.

Kairi.

Axel?

I don't want to do any of that shit.

Why don't you just bring it over to me, okay?

I dunno if Sculs is gonna let me do that.

Is she doing any better with it?

I may or may not be hogging it for myself.

And it's going to stop. I'll be home in five minutes. Just leave him alone until then.

I never took you as the paternal sort!

I bet it'll put it to sleep.

Yeah, cause thats exactly what a couple winecoolers do for you!

Hey, that was just that time!

Oh yeah, just that time, and the other time. And the time before that.

Ah! Axel-san, here... Bring the baby over and I'll show you what to feed it, okay?

Hey. Did they give you one, too, Aya?

No, they didn't. I was surprised to hear that babies were being passed around, though... I guess I really shouldn't be.

It's under control, Ms. Natsume, but thank you for your concern.

I'm glad! Just let me know if you need my help.

Thank you. I think as long as I keep Axel away from him, it should be fine. But I will certainly contact you if need be.

Axel, if you harm this baby we will both end up in prison. Just leave it alone and try to find the formula.

Let me know if you roommate needs his skull cracked, Dana. Kind of in the mood. I'm sure you can imagine just how well this whole little "project" sits with me.

Hey, sweetheart, shouldn't you moms be gentle or something?

Mom-to-be. And ever heard of maternal instinct? It's instinct to tear anyone who might hurt your children into tiny bloody pieces.

And don't call me sweetheart, Zima boy.

Zima is for children. I'm timeless.

Of course you are, Zima.

Why don't you find a mother tiger and ask her that question, Axel.

And this is why I like you, Dana.

You'll be the first to know, Selina. And I can only imagine - I've never thought of myself as particularly maternal, but the thought of these children in the hands of some of our fellow citizens is distressing, to say the least.

If this is the way the government handles family planning, looks like I've got about 8.5 months to find a way home or find a way to change things.

It's surprising that they would be willing to put the children at any risk, given their importance to the future of the human race. I would've thought they would be kept under lock and key, not freely distributed as part of a lesson on how to change diapers.

And lock and key isn't all that better an alternative.

If there's a way home, I will do whatever is in my power to help find it. If we are to remain here indefinitely, change is certainly in order.

But first I have to put this baby to sleep, and then perhaps try to get some of the spit-up off of my blouse.

On the plus side, I have plenty of experience with change.

Best of luck with the baby.

I'm not hurting it!!

Did it occur to you to wonder what alcohol might do to a baby's liver?

No, what?

The liver is responsible for breaking down toxins, such as alcohol, into a less harmful form so that its components can be passed from the body or absorbed. If this metabolic pathway is taxed by excessive consumption of alcohol, the liver will be unable to perform its function and the subject may become comatose or even die. Since babies are very small, the amount of alcohol the liver can process would be proportional.

In other words, it would be bad. Don't do it.

tl;dr

Please see the last line of my previous comment.

If that fails, just the last three words will do.

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