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Every word seems to fail at describing what it is that I mean to say right now, so I will try and keep this concise. That is for the best, as writing in this keeps me away from the hospital and away from her side longer. It pains me to see her hurt like this; it hasn't happened yet. The others were rendered weak several times, but I thought that she would be above that. I thought that I would be above that.
She says that there is no war here; Aya says it, and Shoujou of Red Feather agrees.
I am trying to find evidence that agrees with them, but as I look around me, I still see the same. Will you be proven right, Aya? The feelings are so tense, contrasts and contradictions, people disagreeing and dictating. There are heartfelt words and collaborations, but how much of it is truly meant? Is this place, with this small population, capable of warring? I fear the true answer.
I'll stop thinking about this for now. I'll come to the hospital and fall asleep in the chair beside you, and try to pretend that my presence makes it all right for another day.