becomingademon.livejournal.comThe awkwardness of the school project aside, I believe I'm doing quite well in acclimating to this place! I can't say that I've never been at a difficult school setting before, but this setting is quite different in a ... new way.
I'm thinking of finding an after school job. Does anyone have a place to recommend? I saw someone got a job at a bar, but I don't think I'd work too well there. Any suggestions would be welcome. Heavy lifting and needing someone who can work fast is a plus. I don't want to slack off in my training.
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I find myself wishing to speak up, but instead, choke on the words as they bubble at the bottom of my throat. She is upset, understandably, but the release of that man. I find myself in a similar position of distaste, but we have handled him before, and he will not be so successful again. He is much like the demons from our world, only his disposition is more demonic than innocent. His abilities are not ones he deserves, and he cannot use them to end a war and bring peace. Instead, he serves no purpose than to jibe and mock, to make light of a situation that was never light. I would like to end his charade, but I know that if I were to do it, I wouldn't keep my word to Aya—or Nagi.
We are trapped. In our world, we were concerned with power. The most powerful individual had the ability to win. We found ourselves regressing back to a system, but here, it is politics and power, certain words and restraints. I can't exercise all my strength here, and I worked so hard to build it up. I see Aya grow tense and I can tell that she struggles to stifle her true nature. We are warriors, either caught in the wheel of fate or otherwise, and we are bound by restrictions that we once didn't need. After all, these words and politics failed in our world, and all that could remain was a meeting of arms.
I feel idle and unnecessary. I feel aimless and daunted. Though I have found my footing and I am understanding this place, I feel as if I am waiting for the expected to happen. There will come a day when this gathering of people explodes into violence, and I will be prepared. It's a similar wheel of fate, but I must remain outside of it for the sake of everyone.
And for the sake of myself.