becomingademon.livejournal.com[ Filter: Private ]
Even if it is just waffles, I cannot help but feel wary about them sharing waffles together. I would like to say that it has everything to do with trust, but it has to do with the feeling of jealousy that courses through my body. Every time I have imagined it prior to signing into this journal, I feel no different than I did when she first announced her engagement to Nagi; I feel somewhat more secure in the fact that she has a close relationship with Nagi and that she claims that Kabane is a person who is much like her, but I still feel uneasy. I will have to stymie the rage within, because this is not a situation that calls for a demon. I should be comfortable with this, but I find myself constantly thwarted from my own desires in remaining enamoured by Aya's existence.
There are more important concerns here. I have a promise to uphold, and remaining jealous will not guide me toward keeping that promise. I cannot keep you safe if I am jealous, Aya, because I will be blinded by what it is that I wish to see even if that is far from the reality. I cannot protect you if I am not there as a friend. I have made that promise, and it is the one thing I can maintain in this place full of enigmas. Even here, we remain uncertain, and I still do not have faith that they are changing things for the better. You are helping toward what will make things better, though, and I think you can do your part, Aya.
And I will always remain at your side. Our connection is that of a promised protection and nothing more. I will not be concerned about the implications of White Day. Even if I would like to purchase you a gift in return for your rose, I think it might be best if I refrained. Your happiness is of a greater concern, and your happiness will be linked to Nagi no matter how much I deny it.
I'll be able to remain this way, Aya. I understand your connection now.
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I've finally been called back for a job! It's not anything like yours, Aya-chan, but I look forward to working there. I'll be starting at Aerocrombie and Eagle tomorrow afternoon. It's a little different from anything I've done before, but I decide it's better to have a job than no job.