contraposition.livejournal.com [ Filter: Private ]
I know these systems aren't secure enough merit a feasible reason for placing a report here. However, I don't want to forget. There are some things I can't, even though I want to. I'm capable of storing vast quantities of information within my consciousness, but there are certain things that replay more vividly than facts and statistics. Regardless, I don't want to forget this need to find a purpose in something more grounded than what we've left behind. There are reasons for this. I don't know how to get blood out of that sweater, it would be embarrassing if it happened again. I can't sleep.
We're all going to keep fighting. Even without the Gundams this as near as possible to the original mission. There's no guarantee we'll have a greater rate of success than we did that night. However, for what I'm responsible for, I have to sever an attachment to Veda and to that world. I have to find a way to be a Meister without those things. I have to find some use for me here. I'm unfit to be so much of this, but to become human I have to forget that and focus on a new purpose. How I'll do this isn't clear currently, or what this purpose is going to be, but I can't lose again. We can't find new members without Veda.
This is going to happen again, and I won't be affected when it does. I want to believe this.