indesolution

OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SO BADASS! DO ME NOW, BADASS ROBOT-BOY! Look, the only reason you're even a blip on my radar is because Elle kind of nevereverevereverevereverEVER shuts up about you or the short one, and to be honest, when you two were nightingaling like it was your job (hint: it's not, it's MINE) it was just so difficult to tell you apart! Save for the height difference, you're both equally annoying, although in veeeeery different ways. Dwarf's more like the annoying overbearing mom down the street who always came over to check up on you when you were home alone and overstayed her welcome after the first thirty seconds. You, on the other hand, are the shrill, nasal, high-pitched voice grating on my ears day in, day out, day all over the place. My point is that half of the time, I can't even remember your name. Wsomething? It doesn't matter. Like I care. All I see when I look at you is EYEBROWS, and therefore you are Gallagher to me. FOREVER. So, Gallagher, HERE'S the deal: If we really are anything alike, I can tell you right now that the badass cocky holier-than-thou don't-give-a-damn attitude is a hard one to keep up, and it takes a lot more practice than you've had on your, what, sixteen years on the planet? Are you even out of puberty yet? Good god damn, Gallagher, I rarely say this to people who aren't my ex-wife, but I think it's high time you got over yourself. And I'm out.