giantegoI'm sorry, did I hear somebody say costume party? Well golly gee Mollie Sue (who am I referring to? THE DOMES MAY NEVER KNOW!) doesn't that just sound like more fun than the soda pop sock hop on Saturday evening! Hmm, I wonder what I should go as? I feel like my Playboy bunny costume is getting a little outdated, what with the wearing it every Halloween and occasionally for my ex-wife and then lending it out to Bob Kelso's son for his own personal usage which I damn sure do not ever want to think about, and you know, showing up naked just doesn't seem like an option, so hmm! Whatever shall I do! Why, I think I'll ask the community! Everyone there clearly loves me and wants to put up with my lame bullshit questions about whether I should wear the pink frilly tutu (belonging to Elle), the stylish yet gunshot wound-concealing pencil skirt (Cordelia), the pink apron for when you bake blood cakes (Akito), or the beret of barely repressed homosexuality (dead poet #3 though seriously, kids, you all look alike) or if I should just make something on my own! I think I still have patterns left from
OH I'M SORRY, I SEEM TO HAVE DOZED OFF! This just in: so do not care! Look, for all you wondering what to go as, why don't you muse about it in your own head? That's the only place where anyone cares, I can tell you that much. OR, if you're one of the ones who for some reason has to pop in to tell us that NO MEANS NO and you aren't going to go, ask yourself this question — do we care? Do any of us really, truly care? No! Go or don't go, and that's less drivel for me to scroll past during my daily check to see if the hellions have followed me from Sacred Heart. Which, still, thank you thank you thank you god for not cursing me with their presence. The hospital is a quieter (and safer, and more efficient, and less susceptible to malpractice lawsuits) place for it.
Switching gears entirely, listen up, roomie. If I hear a peep about the costume party during the two hours of relative silence I get in our apartment every day, I can't be held responsible for my actions. Everything just goes red! Like a bull! You may all be saying OH DR. COX BUT I THINK I SHOULD GO AS...... or DR. COX WHAT SHOULD I..... or DR. COX COULD YOU....... but all I hear is WAH WAH PLEASE PUNCH ME IN THE FACE, DR. COX, I WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN YOUR FIST SAYING A VERY CHEERFUL AND EXUBERANT HELLO TO MY MOUTH! And I'm sure that's not what most of you are saying (though Elle seems to have some interesting kinks up her sleeve) but like I said. Just can't be held responsible for what I do to stupid people.
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I miss Jordan.