indesolution

Okay this whole "woe I've been sucked into a post-apocalyptic alternate dimension where the scientists claim my life was fictional but now that I'm real I'm expected to breed AND I'M REALLY [insert emotional descriptor here] ABOUT IT" thing is getting kinda old. So I've compiled a handy FAQ for the n00bs so the rest of us don't have to answer the same thing over and over and over ad nauseum.

#1: "I'm not real? But I don't feel fake."

Let's address the misnomer first shall we? Technically, if the white coats are to be believed you are no longer fake, i.e. real, so only everything about your "life" up until now has been one gigantic lie devised by the whims of your creator(s) or let's be honest here, the interfering hands of execs and other suits.

Now that that's out of the way, whether or not you do believe the white coats, fair traveler of the interdimensional portal, is a decision you'll have to come to on your own. If you are like some you may be strongly influenced by how much you want to believe your life before Babylon was real or fake. Those who are more scientifically minded (bonus points for some experience with the weird and mystical) such as myself have simply looked at the evidence for this claim and often found it to be lacking. If it makes you feel better you might want to make some sort of pros and cons list. If you'd rather not make the decision from your heart you ought to consider looking into the Multiverse Theory and similar fields of study — it's not just for science fiction anymore!

#2: "They want me to breed! I find that _____!"

Chances are you're gonna be inclined to fill in the blank with "scandalous" or "kinky." If it's the former ignore it. It won't exactly go away 'cause getting you laid is the government's highest priority and they will take every opportunity to inspire you toward that end. However you can take comfort in the fact that no one is making you do anything yet. [Pending revision in the event that breeding becomes mandatory.]

If it's the latter we all have our wooing methods and how to get the opposite sex into bed has been the driving force of humanity and fiction for like, ever so I'm not gonna get into that here. Just you know, enjoy the freedom to pick your partner while it lasts.

#3: "I miss my mommy! How do I get back?"

Nobody knows and if they do they're not telling. If you really want to find a way back become part of the problem, not their solution. Scientists are more likely to get the chance for an up-close-and-personal with the portal, to learn how it works. There are also political avenues; what better way to find out if a conspiracy theory is true than to become a key figure in said conspiracy?

#4: "But they need me back in my world! I was right in the middle of something really important, and who's going to feed my cat?"

Someday, someone will be pulled through the portal who wasn't in the throes of epic battle and about to die*. Someday, someone will be pulled through the portal who was in the middle of playing Portal, and on that day we can all lol and offer them cake (it's not a lie!). But yeah, chances are that if you're here other people from your series are likely to show up any day, since they seem to pull from similar series in waves. And given the evidence of those who were taken from different points, your absence won't have any effect on the fabric of the reality you came from. You may be filled with the same sense of destiny but you're just gonna have to get a day job for now** 'cause the fact of your presence here? Doesn't rewrite your history. Your cat will live to meow another day. So chill out and get it on.

*For information on coping with this common pre-mortem issue, please refer to Rube Sofer of the I Died in My Canon support group.
**Unless you can will anything you need from raw firmament.

Huh. I wonder if those pamphlet writers get royalties.