(no subject)

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

[ Filter: Private ]
And again, prison. I weary of it. This time my plans to lay low were defeated by something beyond my understanding. This must not happen again. Nuwanda seemed to be maddened by the experience; I was bored, and I'm tired of my thoughts, which run like circles.

Still, I saw who else was imprisoned there. People to keep an eye on, perhaps; interesting people.

They are planning a parade, which means within a month it will be one year since I arrived here in this strange place. I think I have perhaps become too used to it. That is not something I want to celebrate.

The idea of finding a job is abhorrent to me and yet, I'm going to have to grit my teeth and bear it.

I still ache, physically, for the ocean.


[ Filter: Public ]

Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die.
oscar wilde - the ballad of reading gaol

Prison is still excruciatingly boring and I'm glad to be free of it, especially since I've now gained a second strike for something I don't even remember doing and had no hand in planning. I'm sure Sofer will be disappointed to know it did not drive me mad. I doubt it would have even after years and years. I think I am sounder of mind than that.

I miss adventure.

Comments

[postits]

Not disappointed, Ludluck. It's good to know you're a worthy adversary.

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

Quite.

[postits]

You miss adventure. I'd say that's fortunate for the rest of us.

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

Proper adventure; quests and ambitions. It's not the same here, and I wouldn't expect you to understand.

[postits]

You don't know me, Ludluck.

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

For which I am glad.

[postits]

Touché. It goes both ways.

[hostbu]

What a sad poem.

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

My apologies, it seemed fitting. It's an extract. Do you like poetry?

[hostbu]

I do! Though so many of the poems I see here are tragic. I wish this was a happier place for many people.

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

I am sure it would be happier if people were not unjustly imprisoned.

[hostbu]

My friends were hurt from whatever happened to all of you. Sometimes we have to do things that aren't fair to keep our precious people safe.

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry your friends were hurt. I, too, found out that someone I cared for was hospitalized.

[hostbu]

Lyra, wasn't it?

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[hostbu]

She's my friend too. She's safe now but. It was a very upsetting time for everyone.

[notwalking]

She was? Shit.

Sorry Haruhi got hurt.

[hostbu]

Please apologize to her, not me.

[notwalking]

Wait, why.

[hostbu]

Because Haruhi was the one who was hurt. I'm just a man who didn't do anything.

[notwalking]

Yeah, well, my friend got hurt too. And I kind of had a direct hand in that. So I know how shitty it feels. Thus, sorry.

[hostbu]

I know. I'm sorry about what happened to Knox. But I see you sometimes and I still feel angry. I know I'm mad at myself and not you, and I hope you don't take it badly. But I'll understand if you do.

[notwalking]

People have a right to be pissed off at me. Go for it.

[hostbu]

It's not fair to you.

[notwalking]

In your case? It kind of is.

[hostbu]

I know you didn't want to hurt those people. You're not a person who wants to cause pain to other people. You're a good man.

[notwalking]

Thanks.

[tokencommoner]

It wasn't your fault.

[notwalking]

Yeah, I've heard that one before. None of us knew what we were doing. Who hurt you?

[tokencommoner]

You've heard it before because it's a valid point. It wasn't something you wanted to do.

[notwalking]

No, believe me. I know that. A guy could feel bad about it anyway.

[ Filter: Captain ]

[notwalking]

How did you not go mad, really.

[ Filter: Nuwanda ]

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

It wasn't much different to life as usual.

[ Filter: Captain ]

[notwalking]

I thought it was.

We're never going back there.

[ Filter: Nuwanda ]

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

My plans have failed one too many times in this place for me to be as confident as I perhaps was when I arrived, but I can say for sure that we are not. I am setting certain plans in place should anything like this occur again; though of course, it would be my third strike, I would not be imprisoned for long.

[ Filter: Captain ]

[notwalking]

Well, yeah, it'd be mine too. But don't say that. We're stronger than they are, even if they really aren't worthy of it anymore.

[ Filter: Nuwanda ]

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

You have so much passion. I like it.

[ Filter: Captain ]

[notwalking]

Slowly being strangled in this place, but it doesn't matter. The harder they try to take it away, the greater the vengeance is when it returns, right?

Maybe we'll get lucky and get out before then.

[ Filter: Nuwanda ]

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. They can beat us down, but we'll win in the end because we dare to think and feel in a way that they have closed their minds to. Still, overcoming that has a price, don't be too quick to pay it.

Forgive me a moment of pessimism, but Luck has not been kind to either of us lately.

[ Filter: Captain ]

[notwalking]

At this point, I'd just settle for not being controlled again. It doesn't sit well.

Yeah, believe me, shit I know.

[ Filter: Nuwanda ]

[captnkennit.livejournal.com]

I just have to look carefully. There's an opportunity in this, somewhere. I don't have enough information, too much here relies on things I don't understand, but we shall find it. I agree, though, that perhaps it's time to re-evaluate our goals. This world is ashes and the mourning.

Maybe it's time to make our own luck.

[ Filter: Captain ]

[notwalking]

There's opportunity everywhere. Re-evaluation is all we've got to go on right now. Just. We can't do anything until we're both certain; death row's not something I like imagining.

Agreed.