(no subject)

[postits]

While a handful of you are in possession of a wealth of common sense, I don't trust most of the population of Babylon to know how to adequately care for a child. In order to save time and effort on my part, here are a few helpful tips.

Do not abandon, starve, shake, punch, kick, stab, shoot, or throw your baby out a window. In addition, babies do not drink alcohol. And I know it's a sad world when I have to actually say this in all seriousness.

Make sure your baby is well fed but not overfed. Keep them clean, warm, and never leave them from your sight.

Sometimes, babies just need to cry. It strengthens their lungs. Moreover, it's the only way they know how to communicate. If your baby will not stop crying, resist the urge to take any of the aforementioned desperate measures, you group of hot-headed fuck ups. If it goes on for too long and becomes a concern, or you think the baby is ill or injured in any way, I'm sure our competent and welcoming hospital staff would be nothing if not helpful.

Remember, this is someone's child. I would think there would be dire consequences for anyone who knowingly harms it.

If you feel that you are unfit to parent this child, I have not been assigned one and would be willing to help in any way that I can. The endangerment of a child is the most despicable act of this world and every other. I would hate to see it happen. Consider this a preventative measure.


Mason, Daisy, Georgia, notify me the moment you get yours. I don't trust any of you with kids.

Comments

[fucktoiletseats.livejournal.com]

No complaints here. I hate kids.

[postits]

No one is surprised.

[fucktoiletseats.livejournal.com]

Great, it's like you'll end up running a day care.

[postits]

This is different from usual?

[fucktoiletseats.livejournal.com]

Touché.

[qinglongweiji.livejournal.com]

A public service announcement?

[postits]

Of sorts. I don't want to see any infant obituaries.

[qinglongweiji.livejournal.com]

It would be a shame. I'm surprised that they gave nonbreeders a chance at parenthood. I never did make a good mother.

[postits]

I suppose they're covering all their bases.

I'm sure you'll do fine. You have a fully functional brain, to start off with.

[qinglongweiji.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I'll be able to handle it.

I used to run an orphanage; but I'm sure that doesn't surprise you.

[postits]

Not much does.

[lickthatdevil.livejournal.com]

hey man, i got this down.

[postits]

Oddly enough, I'm sure you do.

[lickthatdevil.livejournal.com]

it's gonna be hard giving her back. i've been thinking of ways to keep her.

[postits]

Something tells me that would not go over well with her parents.

[lickthatdevil.livejournal.com]

yeah, they should've thought about that before i got attached.

[postits]

This may end up being a success after all.

[hostbu]

Everyone has a baby but me!

[postits]

I don't have one, Mr. Suou. It seems that a fair few don't. Calm yourself.

[hostbu]

Some people don't even want one!

[postits]

I'd hazard that most don't.

[hostbu]

I do.

[postits]

Perhaps you can help someone who doesn't, then.

[misskittyclaws.livejournal.com]

You deserve a drink or five for this. Nothing like spending Day Two in Brave New World worrying about a bunch of strangers' babies getting maimed or worse in the hands of people who probably shouldn't be reproducing anyway.

[postits]

Thank you. Based on past experience, I doubt this will help much, but it never hurts to try.

[misskittyclaws.livejournal.com]

And if it doesn't, there's always threats of violence. And then actual violence.

[postits]

I try not to let it get that far.

[misskittyclaws.livejournal.com]

It's pretty much always gotten that far for me these past few years, but that's what you get for trying to keep the worst neighborhood in the city from devouring its young.

And here I am making a bad impression and telling my life story without an introduction. Selina Kyle.

[postits]

My line of work was a bit more passive. Rube Sofer.

[misskittyclaws.livejournal.com]

Passive and ambiguous isn't always a bad line of work.

[postits]

Indeed.

[behemothed]

These are good points, but they aren't made of glass, you know?

[postits]

Human life is fragile.

[behemothed]

Resilient though. I mean, people are still here and check out the world outside.

[postits]

You have a point. I will still worry for those who are not old enough to fend for themselves.

[behemothed]

It's cool. Babies are a little young to get sucker punched or tasered or shot with rubber bullets.

[postits]

Comforting.

[sharkish]

Really?

[behemothed]

Well, just babies.

[secondseated.livejournal.com]

THIS IS TOO HARD someone take mine

[postits]

Is your roommate of any help?

[secondseated.livejournal.com]

I kicked him out!

[viciouslyfucked.livejournal.com]

why dont they drink alcohol? might make them cheer up a bit.

[postits]

Cheer up by dying?

[heartskira.livejournal.com]

MisaMisa, ahhh... MisaMisa would also like to help in any way she can! Until I have my own child to look after, you can rely on me to be there for any, ah, neglected children. If that's okay with Mr. Sofer-sama~!!

[postits]

It's fine by me, Ms. Misa. I may call on your services soon enough.

[ex_whoosh450]

You're a good man, Rube. I've got a list of residents whose kids I want to check on personally, I'll send you a copy.

[postits]

I'm just a concerned citizen. Still, thank you, Nathan. That's probably for the best.