NUMBER WHAT

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

I'M SENSING THAT I'M NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE

I'M ALSO SENSING THAT EVERYONE I KNOW IS STILL IN KANSAS

AND THAT IF YOU ACTUALLY DO LIVE IN KANSAS YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BE BETTER PREPARED FOR A TORNADO AND NOT BUILD A HOUSE THAT COULD FLY AWAY AND CRUSH SOMEONE! AND THAT FOR THAT MATTER IF A BUNCH OF WEIRD LITTLE DUDES AND A CREEPY SLOW-TALKING LADY GIVE YOU SHOES OFF A DEAD BODY YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T TAKE THEM. I MEAN DOESN'T THAT SEEM LIKE COMMON SENSE?

WHILE I'M AT IT I'M ALSO SENSING THAT THIS ROOM IS KIND OF COLD. Do they not shell out for heat here??

Oh right, sorry! First things first: so how do you get someone here? Gus needs to see this.

Comments

[disparages]

You're 'sensing'? And people really take their fine time getting here, so you might have to wait a while, hotshot.

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

Yes! I'm sorry, I failed to introduce myself in all that "where am I, what is this place, am I in an alternate dimension or did I just fall asleep watching The Truman Show?" goodness. I'm Shawn Spencer, psychic detective, formerly-I-guess with the Santa Barbara police.

Hotshot? I prefer 'the sweetness,' myself.

Now do you happen to know a way to speed this whole "getting here" thing up...? seriously, if it's an emergency, they can do something, can't they?

[disparages]

You're psychic? I dunno how to speed up the whole appearing thing- though somebody I'd been waiting for finally showed up when I got hurt. But I don't really recommend that.

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

Yes, I am. Amazing, I know. :) But no worries! Really, I'm just like you.

When you got hurt, you say? Hmm...

...well, maybe not, but I'll keep that in mind.

[disparages]

Yeahhh. Totally not a five star way to get attention.

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

No no no! I work with the POLICE.

And besides a little attention never hurt anyone anyway, right? it's like television. or tanning!

[disparages]

The police? Oh fun, cause they're a real efficient bunch in this place.

God I miss tanning.

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah? Well maybe that's why I'm here, then. Yes! I was drawn to this place. I was called. Now I just have to call my assistant. How am I supposed to clean this place up Bad News Bears-style without my Tatum O'Neal?

Is there no tanning here? That's a shame. What about the beach?

[disparages]

If your wingman's Tatum, what does that make you? And c'mon. We're in a post apocalyptic dome. No beach.

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

I guess I was Walter Matthau in that analogy, although I really see myself as more of a modern-day Keanu in Point Break.

I'm not exactly up on my dome-inology, so unless this is actually based on that movie, you've got me. Not that I actually saw that movie. Even I have standards!! (Gus totally did though.)

Wait -- does that mean there's no pineapple here? :((((

[telepathics]

Do yuo rlelay?

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

Do I...? Do I relay? I have been known to run a race or two. I didn't win the Pacific Emerald Cruises Guest-Staff Baton Marathon, but I was voted Best Costume at the afterparty. And I was almost on the swim team in high school!

((LOL, edited because I got the name wrong. :( yes, he really did work on a cruise ship.))

[telepathics]

Tish mghith de esirae if yuo cmoe ot eth satiotn.

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

Is this a code? ARE WE WRITING IN CODE?

SORRY I MEAN

AREAY EWAY ITINGWRAY INAY ODECAY?

Or I can do gibberish if you want!! Is this really important? is it top-secret?

[ryuume.livejournal.com]

Ah! Psychic?

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

Si!

[scienceexplains.livejournal.com]

A psychic detective.

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

Mais oui!

[scienceexplains.livejournal.com]

Let me guess: you visit crime scenes and make pronouncements so vague they inevitably seem correct in the light of further investigation?

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

No -- actually, I'm always the one to identify the killer and how they did it.

Well, okay, not always.

Sometimes it's not a murder!

Why, is that not how it happens down at your crime scenes, officeeeeonono detectiaflkaklj-- Agent? Is that why you're so skeptical? Do bad psychics get in the way of government investigations?

[scienceexplains.livejournal.com]

Special Agent Dana Scully, FBI.

And no, mercifully, that has never happened at one of "my" crime scenes. Though I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

But you have had a bad run-in with a psychic, am I right? I bet you hate that. Just like you hate it when people seem to know way too much about yooouuuasklfjfaerijasm,acmn doctor askfjalskfja; autopsieskaljfalf s c ien tist akfja

sorry, my visions sometimes get the better of me. But I'm sensing you might not believe that. ;) am I right in sensing that your partner might?

[scienceexplains.livejournal.com]

As opposed to the vast majority of people, who are delighted by strangers who know all about them.

You're going to have to do better than that, Mr. Spencer.

[spenstar.livejournal.com]

Hey, at least then you don't have to worry about small talk. Actually I've found that a number of people have been very impressed by what I do.

I'm sorry, Agent Scully, I can't just turn them on and off at will. These things have to come to me. The spirits are fickle, they're finicky, they're FRAUGHT WITH UNCERTAINTY, and other adjectives beginning in f!

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

You've seen that episode too huh.