(no subject)

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

I fail to see how this kawaii electronic device is meant to be a suitable representation of a young human. It doesn't respond to discipline, for one thing. I gave it the thorough spanking it was just asking for and it only beeped at me more! And how am I going to support the two of us on this paltry income! Waitressing will hardly put it through college and so far it has shown no signs of genius which would earn it the necessary scholarships. Being a single mother is difficult and unrewarding and the lousy man who saddled me with this responsibility ought to be enshrouded in sackcloth drenched in his own dried and uncomfortably flakey blood!

Comments

[postits]

Paltry. You could have just asked for a raise.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Everyone knows a waitress's real income is in tips, Rube, and it was only meant to be temporary anyway. But now that I have another mouth to feed it really puts things in perspective. I'm quitting!

[postits]

What will you do instead?

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Well, something I forgot in all the apocalypse and interdimensional travel is that one of my many unlauded talents is monetary gain. Even if I can't triple my income in the stock market, I still think I can make a decent go of it if I remember to stick to my strengths!

[postits]

Then I wish you luck, Ms. Anya. The restaurant will miss you and your unique way of getting customers to stick to what's on the menu.

[albatrossish]

It's a faulty representation. Had to be rewired. Would have made the necessary changes but it was running expensive and I don't have a soldering iron. Now it's just in pieces.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Isn't that always the way with children?

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

If you're being literal I can hook you up with that soldering iron and anything else you need pretty quick.

[doctorish]

Or you could refrain.

[robotsexual.livejournal.com]

Why, do you think she'll go like, crazy with the soldering iron and be a danger to herself and others?

[hirohiko]

Have you tried playing with it? My little sister had one of those virtual pets once and it loved to play games or something.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

What, like, Scrabble? Did you read the part about its tragically low IQ?

[hirohiko]

I think there's a game function? There was on my sister's. It doesn't need a high IQ to get a sports scholarship, does it?

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Oh! There it goes. And of course you're right. A mother just can't help but worry about the future. I'm sure my child will be a terror on the field! Just as long as it's not football, I won't have the spawn of my loins breaking his neck playing that brutal demonstration of testosterone.

[classyslayer.livejournal.com]

I don't think they live long enough to get scholarships.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Are you implying I'm a negligent mother, Buffy!

[classyslayer.livejournal.com]

I'm implying that they're probably only programmed to live for so long.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Well that's just barbaric. Children are a lifelong commitment!

[disparages]

Hold on, look at it this way. I'm imagining these scenarios for your future mini demons- which is worse; Singe mom or mom and dad Xander. That second one sounds a little hopeless if you ask me.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

 
 
I think Xander would be a good father.

[disparages]

A little tough for me to picture, I guess.

[ex_wells219]

I'm gonna throw out the same offer I did to Buffy, if you need a, uh, babysitter? I'm totally there.

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

We'll see. I mean, clearly I won't be needing one for any date nights since I was knocked up by some deadbeat who's never around to engage in further impregnating opportunities, not to mention being there for our child. But I could still have a social life, right?

[ex_wells219]

You are talking about a fake child... right?

[dontpatthebunny.livejournal.com]

Obviously, Andrew.